like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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