that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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