I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
