I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
