Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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