is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
