meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
