Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize