Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
