i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize