Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
