I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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