i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
