We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
