yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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