Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
