As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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