Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
