aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
