I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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