pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
