I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
