i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
