Pants 0. Shit 1.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize