He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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