home. puking in laundry basket.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
