Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
