We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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