Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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