My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
