he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize