I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
