Why are handjobs necessary in class?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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