is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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