I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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