The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
