i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i out mim tonsoeep
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
