Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
