If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
