yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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