they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
