you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
