Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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