There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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