While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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