He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize