True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
