Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
