During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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