He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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