Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize