You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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