i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
