Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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