i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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