Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
