it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
