i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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