i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
