On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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