so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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