if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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