One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize