No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
