Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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